Jesus loved bananas. he loved them so bad he would hide them in his anus. His dad and him would go and roll a banana joint and smoke bananas. bananas were discovered by jesus while he was praying to Allah. one day jesus stumbled uppon a monkey that had a banana. he asked the monkey for the banana but the monkey kicked him in the testicles. then jesus got mad and thew ninja stars to the monkey's face. the monkey was dead and jesus stole his banana. later on in the bible. jesus was being crucified. he asked for a banana but they woudnt give him one. jesus died later because he didnt have his daily banana. 3 days later jesus resurrected with a bag full of bananas that Allah gave him while he was dead. Jesus goal was to open the gates of eternity and that everyone will get a lifetime supply of bananas.